Thirteen Years Later

I moved to Los Angeles in the fall of 2007, around the same time I started my blog, Jaw Wired Shut. Blogging was my first foray into professional writing, the first time I started to think of writing as something I could do in a professional capacity. For me, blogging was experimental, a place where I could hone my voice and practice my storytelling. I loved it. I loved that I could be informal and dumb and write a stream of consciousness ode to aquariums one day and a list of TV recommendations the next. And now, thirteen years later, and at least half as many years since I last wrote a blog post, I’m looking to blogging as a way to reignite a passion for writing.

Since moving to the land of dreams, I’ve seen many of mine come true, but I’ve seen just as many fall by the wayside. Far better writers than I have expressed all the ways Los Angeles sucks you in and chews on you indefinitely as you wait for the next job, the better job, the big break, the One. All I know is thirteen years later and I still marvel that I’ve been here for that long, that I am where I am but also that I am not where I thought I’d be.

Isn’t that life? You are where you are and the journey to get there was nothing like you thought. And yet still we are taken by surprise. Maybe one day I won’t feel this way, but I still can’t believe I’m a writer. A struggling writer, really, for to be writer is to struggle. Whether it’s financially or mentally or some combination of both. On my best days it’s just a mental fight, but the past three years have been far from my best. And so here I am, returning to that thing that reminded me why I wanted to write in the first place. A blog.